Wife: From your stingy husband: - For God's sake have mercy on me and call the hospital and call an ambulance. My heart hurts a lot.
Husband: I call the crematorium and call the mortuary. I don't want to waste money on taking you to the hospital.
-------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------
Husband: Darling! Is it true that you never forget a face you once saw?
Wife: Yes, but why?
Husband: In fact, the expensive mirror of your dressing table has just broken
and you will have to work with your memory till a new mirror is created. On this, the wife speaks in a hushed voice, just let her stay, it seems that she has no other work besides complimenting me?
-------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------
during the talks, said her husband, a scholar wrote that stupid man's wife is beautiful .
-------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------
Wife (angrily): I won't talk to you after today.
Husband: Are you going to be dumb?
Wife: No, I'm going to make you deaf.
-------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------
when miya-wife has fiercely that blood Bibi said kicking, I'm going to matter And I will go there and file for divorce, yes! A husband and wife were celebrating their fiftieth wedding anniversary when suddenly the husband started crying. Seeing her husband crying, the wife asked the reason. Looking into the wife's eyes. Husband said, "Dear, do you remember, fifty years ago today, your father met us in the back garden of your house, holding hands with Rango."
Mian - let's move! Now don't try to seduce by saying such false-sweet, sweet-sweet things.
-------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------
When the wife said yes, the husband asked if she remembered it. What did his father tell me at that time? I don't remember what he said.
The wife replied - he had said. That if I don't marry you, they will put me in jail for fifty years for what happened. So what happened Did she marry you? The wife said looking at her husband. That is what he was saying.
-------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------
Husband and wife were talking to each other. The number 11 portion was always auspicious for the husband. We got married at 11 a.m. on the 11th of the 11th month. Our house number is also 11. One day at 11 o'clock 11 minutes and 11 seconds someone said that a big race is going to take place today. I thought there must be a miracle hidden in number 11 for me. I went and put 11 thousand rupees on the 11th horse for the 11th race.
Wife: So did the horse win? Fucking came in at number 11!
-------------------------------------------------- --------------------------------
Santa's wife picked up the frying pan and hit
Santa's head.
Santa: Why kill? Santa: Yesterday I was in the race on the horse that was frozen. His name is. BV: Well done m sorry!
Wife: Write the name of a Basanti in your diary. Who is this Basanti?
The next day Santa's wife hit again - Santa:
Why did you hit now?
Wife: Your mare’s call has come ..... go and
pick it up !!!
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---------------------------------------------- ----------------------------------
Two women met in heaven.
First - tell me sister, how did you die?
Second - due to feeling very cold. And yours?
First - Due to High Blood Pressure. The fact is that I was suspicious of my husband. One day I found out that he is in the house with another woman. I immediately reached home and saw that my husband was comfortably watching TV alone.
Second - what happened then?
First - the news was sure so I couldn't believe it. I searched for her in every corner of the house, in the basement, behind the curtains, in the garden and even in the cupboard and chest, but she was not found. I had so much tension that my blood pressure increased a lot and I died.
The second - I wish! You would have seen it by opening the freezer and we were both alive today
------------------------------------- -------------------------------------------
Babli (from husband Bunty) - Tonight I dreamed that you brought me a beautiful diamond necklace.
Bunty had breakfast and went to the office. In the evening an office went into his hands.
In the evening he had a packet in his hand. Babli thought that there would be a diamond necklace in it.
He quickly opened the packet. There was a book in the packet. The title was - What is the meaning of dreams.
-------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------
housewife bid -
Monday to shopping ....
Tuesday ..... Zoo
Mercury on Long drive ... to eat on
Thursday ... to watch a
movie on Friday and then a
picnic on Saturday .... well .... I
said - I will go to the temple on Sunday housewife
asked - why ????
Begging !!
-------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------
in the war of the husband and wife
are always there to be an agreement ...
accepts that the husband is
at fault She was and…
wife
agrees with him without any protest … !!!
-------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------
Mareez: Mujhe Ajib c Bimari Ho Gai He.
Jab Meri Biwi Bolti Hai To Mujhe Kuch Sunai Nahi Deta ..!
Hakim: Ye Bimari Nahi,
Tum Par Allah Ki REHMAT H ...
----------------------------------- ---------------------------------------------
Wife: I heard In heaven, men get nymphs .. what do women get?
Husband: Nothing; The one above only listens to the sad people ..!
-------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------
What is a wife?
The wife is like the offering of God, in
which no fault can be found even if one wants to;
Eat quietly with reverence and compulsion ...!
-------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------
Husband: (Drunk, from wife) - Who are you?
Wife: (angrily): Now you forgot your wife too?
Husband - intoxication forgets every gum ..! : D
------------------------------------------------ --------------------------------
is the woman behind the man who managed to work through it too tight that she upset Gets so busy that "Success itself kisses his steps!"
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---------------------------------------------- ---------------------------------- I have been taking
'iron' from my wife for twenty years!
Doctor: Your body is deficient in iron ... Patient: I have been taking ‘iron’ from my wife continuously for twenty years and ... you say that iron deficiency ......
Mail to Friend Tweet
---------------------------------------------- ----------------------------------
Wife: Even if you search for Aladdin with a lamp, you will not find a wife like me again.
Husband: Do you think I will make the same mistake again after touching the lamp?
-------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------
Hi Guys do you know the difference between poet Surender Sharma and wife?
...
...
...
...
EK Chaar Lina Sunawe and
wife ...
Chaar Baata ...
------------------------ -------------------------------------------------- ------
Santa was killing his wife ..
Ek admi ne pucha kyu maar rahe ho ??
Santa: The doctor said,
Isko dawai koot ke deni
------------------------------------- -------------------------------------------
NATURAL DISASTERS JUST HAPPEN
Nobody teaches
Volcanoes to erupt,
Tsunamis to devastate,
Hurricanes to sway around
&
no one teaches
How to choose a Wife,
NATURAL DISASTERS JUST HAPPEN.
-------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Begum, I am coming from the office today. There was a donkey on the way! ”
In the meantime, his daughter said: - "Mummy, Shyam has broken my doll."
The husband started saying again "Yes Begum, I was saying a donkey on the way… ..!"
In the meantime, his son said: - "Mummy, Rita has broken my car."
The wife came in anger and said: - "For God's sake, all of you shut up, let me listen to the donkey first ...!"
-------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------
Husband and wife had a fight. The husband thought of committing suicide and brought poison from the market and ate it. He did not die, he became ill.
Wife (speaking angrily) - has said a hundred times that after seeing things, buy and the money is gone and the work for which it was brought did not happen.
-------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------- The
groom took his wife in his arms and said, 'From today you are my inspiration, my sadhana And I hope so. '
Hearing this, the bride was startled for a moment and then said, 'From today you are my Rahul, Rakesh and Aman.'
-------------------------------------------------- -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
.
Pati-Tumse kisne kha?
Patni-meri khubsurati dekh rotia bhi to jal jati hai .. !!
-------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------
Patni: Are you too old?
pati: tum bhikitni moti ho gyi ho?
Patni: me to maa banne wali hu
pati: mebhi to papa banne wala hu
---------------------------------- ----------------------------------------------
Banke - New Movie Have brought tickets. You get ready immediately.
Wife - but this is next week's ticket?
Banke - Well, no worries. It will also take time for you to get ready.
-------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------
Once Pappu came after hearing the discourse of the saint and as soon as he came he started lifting his wife with his hands.
Wife was surprised and asked- what's the matter, be in a good mood today.
Pappu- Today the saint said that he should bear his sorrows and troubles by laughing himself.
-------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------
PATNI - SAMNE SARABI DEKH RAHE HO
DAS SAAL PEHLE USNE MUJE SAADI
KARNE KE LIYE KAHA O MENE NA KAR DIYA
TO WO ABHI TAK PI RAHA HAI
PATI-BAAP RE ITNA LAMBA CELIBRATION
-------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------ The
husband told the wife that today I will be the chairman.
Showing wife Belan, you can't be my husband and become someone else's.
-------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------
AFTER RABRI'S FALL
A gentle woman, graceful and fair
Has had a fall from nowhere,
A housewife stark , unsuspecting, illiterate
Was ordered one day to run a state,
She ran as fast as a wall
And, naturally, shehad to fall.
Call the man of scam and crores
Who in the streets of Patna roars,
Why him alone? Call them all
The fat, the big, and the tall: With rite and ritual, holy unction
Formally declare this nation
To be their private fiefdom,
To be passed on to a wife or a son
So that in future there is no fall,
Of a gentle woman, after all.
-------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------
a second woman: when your divorce had happened when he was a child,
and now how 3 ?
Second quote: He would sometimes come to apologize ...
------------------------------------ --------------------------------------------
3 Possible Reasons When A Man Opens A Car Door For Wife
1) The Car Is New.
2) The Wife Is New
3) (Most Imp) She Is Not His Wife…
-------------------------------- ------------------------------------------------
Why Love Marriages AWhy Love Marriages Are Better Than Arranged Marriages?
Because Known DEVILS Are Better Than Unknown DEVILS… re Better
--------------------------------------- -----------------------------------------
Angry wife to her husband talk to slap
the man it is hardly that he loves
his wife to husband died two slap in the face, and asked
what you understand that I love you,
do not
----------------------- -------------------------------------------------- -------
Husband and wife were leaving.
A beggar: O beauty, give something to this blind man.
Husband said: Give me something, you are beautiful, he is really blind.
-------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------
wife: Why don't you put the logo on the bus?
husband: Are my photo taken in the bus and
I have to take a photo of all the above….
-------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------
Wife (from husband) - Hi! My deeds were shattered, which was tied to yours, otherwise I was getting more than one worthy groom.
Husband (sadly) - Yes, he really deserved, who escaped your trap.
-------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------
Husband (from wife) - Why don't we go out and drink today's tea.
Wife (from husband) - Why? Do you think that I am tired of making tea?
Husband: Oh no, in fact I am fed up with washing cup plates.
-------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------
Wife (angrily) - What have you done in your life so far?
Husband (proudly) - I made my own life.
Wife- Lo, and I am the one who was blaming God till now.
-------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------
Wife (from husband) - Hi! My deeds were shattered, which was tied to your palle, otherwise I was getting more than one worthy groom.
Husband (sadly) - Yes, he really deserved, who escaped your trap.
-------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------
Wife (from husband) - Listen sir, if your hair continues to fall out at this rate then one day I will divorce you. I don't like bald people at all.
Husband (shocked) - Hey! How stupid I am too, instead of asking for something good, I always kept asking God to keep my hair safe.
-------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------
Husband (from wife) - What is the meaning of hypnosis?
Wife (from husband) - Hypnosis is to subdue a man by his influence and get him to do whatever he wants.
Husband (laughs) - Oh no, they call it marriage
-------------------------------------- -------------------------------------------
Wife - You also remember something ? You know, today is our wedding anniversary.
Husband - Oh, I really forgot. Come on, let's hold a two minute silence ...
-------------------------------------- -------------------------------------------
A woman in great haste to the dentist Arrived at the clinic. Quote - "Doctor sir! I'm in a hurry. I have to go to an urgent meeting so don't apply anesthesia and get your teeth out quickly. "The
doctor said to himself -" She is an amazing brave woman ! " Yes, as you wish. Sit on this chair and tell me which tooth has pain. "The woman called to her
husband standing near the door -" Come on! Show your teeth to the doctor!
-------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------
A woman rushed to the dentist's clinic. Quote - "Doctor sir! I'm in a hurry. I have to go to an urgent meeting so don't apply anesthesia and get your teeth out quickly. "The
doctor said to himself -" She is an amazing brave woman ! " Yes, as you wish. Sit on this chair and tell me which tooth has a pain. "The woman called to her
husband standing near the door -" Come on! Show your teeth to the doctor!
-------------------------------
A couple was celebrating their fortieth wedding anniversary. Coincidentally, that day was also his wife's 60th birthday. That night an angel appeared in their house. He told them that they had been in love for so long that he was happy. The angel said they could ask him for a boon.
The wife, who loved her husband dearly, told the fairy that she wanted to travel all over the world with her husband, but she did not have that much money.
The angel swung his wand and the envelope full of plane tickets came into the wife's hand.
Now it was the husband's turn to ask. He thought for a minute and then said - "To be honest, I want a wife 30 years younger than me." The
angel swung his stick and .......... The husband immediately turned 90 years old.
-------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------
A newlywed was sleeping in the afternoon. When she woke up, she said to her husband, "You know what I just dreamed?"
Husband - "What?"
Wife - "I saw that you have brought me a new gold necklace! What is the meaning of this dream? ''
Husband - '' You will know this tonight. ''
When the husband returned home at night, he had a packet in his hand which he gave to his wife.
Happily, when he opened the packet, a book came out with the name - "The meaning of dreams".
-------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------
a couple of the 25th anniversary of their marriage, they take the reporter interviewed a local newspaper Reached his house. In fact, the couple had become famous throughout the town for their peaceful and happy married life. There was never any quarrel between them even in name only. The reporter was curious to know the secret of his happy life.
Husband told - Shortly after our marriage, we had gone to Shimla to celebrate our honeymoon. There we rode. My horse was fine, but the horse my wife was riding was a little rough. He ran and suddenly knocked my wife down.
The wife said rubbing her hands on the horse's back - this is the first time. And then rode the same horse. After walking a short distance, the horse dropped him again.
The wife said this time - this is the second time. And then rode the same horse.
The third time the horse knocked him down my wife said nothing to the horse, just pulled the pistol out of her purse and shot the horse.
I shouted at my wife - "What have you done! You killed a helpless animal ......! Are you crazy? "The
wife looked at me and said -" This is the first time! "
And just, since then our life has been going on happily and peacefully.
-------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------- Is
there a bigger problem?
Wife: You always keep my photo in your wallet, why?
Husband: Whenever there is a problem, no matter how big, I look at your photo and the problem goes away.
Wife (whispering): Look how miraculous I am to you.
Husband: Yes! I look at your photo and then ask myself if there is a bigger problem?
-------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------
Husband and wife were talking to each other.
Husband - "The number 11 has always been auspicious for me. We got married at 11 a.m. on the 11th of the 11th month. Our house number is also 11. One day at 11 o'clock 11 minutes and 11 seconds someone told me that there is going to be a big race today. I thought that there must be miracles hidden in the number 11 for me, I went and put 11 thousand rupees on the 11th horse for the race of number 11. "
Wife -" And the horse won? ""
Husband - " 'That's crying! Kambakht came 11th! '
-------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------
A woman informed her friend that she was going to get married for the fourth time.
"Congratulations!" Said the friend, expressing happiness and asked - "By the way, how did your first husband die?
"
'' Ram Ram Ram! Poor .....! '' Saheli
expressed regret and said '' And what about the other husband? '' '' By eating poisonous food '' ' ' 'Oh my
God! The other died the same way! The third one is also probably poisonous food ............! ''
'' No, no! The third died of a broken neck. ''
'' A broken neck? ''
'' 'Yes! He refused to eat poisonous food. ''
------------------------------------- -------------------------------------------
A woman arrived in the kitchen and saw That her husband was walking around with a forged hand.
"What are you doing?" - the wife asked him.
"I'm killing flies," replied the husband.
"Good! Can you kill one? '' - asked the wife.
'' Three! Two females and three males, ”said the husband.
Huy was surprised wife asked - 'How did they know?' '
' 'Was a bottle of wine and three' '- husband reply to two phone
--------------- -------------------------------------------------- ---------------
A man and his wife got into a quarrel and they stopped talking to each other. One day the man had to go somewhere by train at 5 in the morning. It was necessary to wake up at 4 o'clock but he also did not want to speak first. So he wrote a note on the paper - "Wake me up at 4 o'clock" and put it on his wife's head.
It was 9 o'clock in the morning when he woke up. His train was missed. He was about to shout angrily at his wife when his eye fell on a piece of paper placed on his head on which it was written - "It is 4 o'clock. Wake up
The recruitment process for a higher post in the Intelligence Bureau was underway. In the end, only three candidates were left, one of whom was to be selected. There were two men and one woman.
His loyalty to duty was to be examined as a final examination. Taking the first man into a room, the examiner said, "We want to make sure that you follow our instructions in all circumstances, no matter what the circumstances." Then he grabbed a gun in his hand and the other Pointing to the room, he said, "Your wife is sitting in that room. Go and shoot
her . '' '' I can't shoot my wife under any circumstances '' - the man said.
"Then you are of no use to us. You can go, ”said the examiner.
Now the other man was called. "We want to make sure you follow our instructions no matter what the circumstances," said the examiner, holding a gun in his hand and pointing to the other room. Your wife is sitting in the room. Go and shoot him. ”The man went into the room and returned five minutes later with tears in his eyes. "I could not shoot my beloved wife. Forgive me I am not qualified for this post. "
Now only the woman was left as the final candidate. He also grabbed a gun and pointed to the same room, saying, "We want to make sure you follow our instructions no matter what the circumstances." Your husband is sitting in that room. Go and shoot him. ”The woman took the gun and went inside the room. As soon as he entered the room, the sounds of firing started coming. After about 11 rounds of fire, screams and uproar started coming from the room. This sequence lasted for about fifteen minutes after which silence fell.
About five minutes later the door of the room opened and the woman came out wiping the sweat from her forehead. Bid - '' You guys didn't tell me that the cartridges in the gun are fake. I had to beat him.
-------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------
A husband and wife were celebrating their fiftieth wedding anniversary when suddenly the husband started crying. Seeing her husband crying, the wife asked the reason.
Talk about chilling husband watching his wife's eyes - '' Baby Do you remember today than fifty years ago, your father has us caught by red, while similar chupakara in the garden behind the house? ''
Said the wife of the '' yes '' But the husband asked if he remembered what his father had said to me at that time.
What did you say I don't remember - The wife replied.
He had said that if I did not marry you, they would put me in prison for fifty years.
So what happened You got married, didn't you? The wife said looking at her husband.
I am thinking that if I had not obeyed him, at least today I would have been free
-------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------
koi ghar ja raha tha ki apni biwi ka 'antim sanskar karke achanak bijli chamki, badal garje, jor se When it started raining, the sad man said: Lagta hai pahunch gai
---------------------------------------- -------------------------------------------
Husband- then the same tomato vegetable, Maybe you don't know that eating too many tomatoes makes a man an ass in the next life.
That was the last-born wife, you may need to think
-------------------------------------- -------------------------------------------
Wife: I have seen in a dream today That you have brought me a diamond necklace, what does this dream mean?
Husband: I will tell you this evening. In the evening the husband brought a packet to the wife. When the wife happily opened the packet, a book came out of it. The name of the book was, 'Meaning of Dreams'.
-------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------
Wife (angrily) From Husband: People tell the truth that Befkufo's mouth should not be touched.
Husband: Then I don't like your mouth.
-------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------
Husband to Wife in fighting: To sali kutiya
Wife to husband: To sala kutta
His child: Hee Hee, Mai sala Kukariya
--------------------------------------------- -----------------------------------
At the railway station, the wife said to her husband- Look ... other people are meeting their wives with love and you are the one who is standing with your mouth hanging open.
Husband- Goddess, you don't understand ... These people have come to the station to bid farewell to their wives and I will pick them up.
-------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------
One day when the husband and wife left the temple, a fakir said, 'Give the princess five rupees I am blind.
Husband: Give it, the princess is calling you, then you must be blind.
-------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------- After
returning from the office, the husband told his wife that he has got his insurance.
Wife happy: Well done. The tension of the day came. Whenever you got sick, you had to call a doctor immediately.
-------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------
Wife: I dreamed today that you brought me a diamond necklace, what about this dream Mean?
Husband: I will tell you this evening. In the evening the husband brought a packet to the wife. The wife happily opened the packet, then a book came out of it, which was called, "Meaning of Dreams"
--------------------------- -------------------------------------------------- ---
Wife: The conductor insulted me in the bus today.
Husband: Why? What happened
Wife: As soon as I got off the bus, he said: Now let three passengers come to this seat.
-------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------
How does the wife change after marriage, just consider ...
First year: I said eat, you haven't eaten for a long time
Second year: Food is ready, let me put it ------------------------ -------------------------------------------------- ------- Mr. Santa Sinha said: I also want the same but I don't know why seeing you, I am thinking of my infamous wife. -------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------- Mr. Santa and Mrs. Banta were arguing.
Third year: The
. I am going to the market, take it out and eat by myself
Fifth year: I say I will not make food today, bring it from the hotel Sixth year: When you look at food, food and food, just ate in the morning
...
--- -------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Where were you?
Husband said- sensible women do not ask such questions.
The wife said- A good sensible husband can ask his wife such questions?
Leave it alone, the husband said, a sensible man also has a wife.
everything on money, car and a girlfriend Alas one day all this will get out of my hands.
But how? The friend asked in astonishment.
My wife will find all these things.
-------------------------------------------------- ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
a woman painted a beautiful pontoon in which she was laden with a lot of precious jewels Was shown. A friend of hers asked, you never wear so many jewels then why so many jewels on this picture of yours?
Because if I die and my husband remarries, then seeing this picture of me, my husband's second wife will go crazy and make my husband's life haraam. The woman replied with a smile.
-------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------- The
doctor said to William, you have constipation. You should get up every morning and drink a cup of lukewarm water.
Doctor, I have been doing this for months, the only difference is that my wife calls it tea.
-------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------
Mrs. Santa Sinha never went to a beauty parlor. One day she went to a beauty parlor and got her makeover done. Her hairstyle changed, she got heavy make-up on her face, the style of her clothes changed. Now she thought that her husband should be shocked. Mrs. Sinha reached her husband's office and said to him: Hello handsome, I want to love you.
Mr. Santa, have you considered me a dog?
Mrs. Banta: Absolutely not, but stop craving for God.
-------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------
Santa Sedhi's wife was very jealous and suspicious. One day she started looking for long hair on her husband's coat. When he didn't get hair, he started saying - well, nowadays you are falling in love with a bald woman. The next day she started smelling the perfume of women in her husband's clothes, but she did not find any such fragrance. He shook hands and said- well, then that bald woman is so stingy that she can't even buy a perfume.
-------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------
I know, I spent sixteen days eating only basil leaves And fasted every Friday for two years. Then I went somewhere and found you as my husband.
What if it didn't do everything? The husband asked with a laugh.
So someone would have passed by you. The wife was naive.
-------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------
A woman said to her husband, 'You have come home late at night.'
The husband also accused his wife and said, "And you have been awake till nightfall."
I have been waiting for you for 5 hours.
And I also stood outside for 5 hours waiting for you to fall asleep so I can come inside
------------------------------- --------------------------------------------------
The wife said to the husband, 'You have come home late at night. Husband also accused and said, 'And you too have been awake late at night.
The wife said, 'I have been waiting for you for five hours. The husband said, 'And, I stood outside for five hours waiting for you to fall asleep so I can come in
------------------------------- --------------------------------------------------
Wife- Aji, is it true that money speaks?
Husband: Yes, they are like that.
On this the wife said- then you give me some money, I am bored sitting alone in the house.
Patni (Pati Se) -
Do you have any experience about Collage ?
Pati (Patani Se) - Han, Tumhari and
my first meeting was in college
.
************ ********* ********* ** When
Pati reached home, Patani told her
- I have removed Naukarani today.
Pati udas hokar - Are, use ek mauka to
diya hota.
Patni (Pati Se) - Per mai aapko koi mauka
nahi dena chahati.
************ ********* ********* ** A
jagadalu patani pati par baras rahi thi
aur wah bichara deen sakal banaye hue
baitha tha. Patni bol rahi thi kayar kahin
ke, tum aadami ho ki chuhe?
Pati Gidgidaya - Shreemati Ji, Mai aapka
pati he hun agar chuha hota to tum thar-thar
kamp rahi hoti.
************ ********* ********* ** A
woman passed by a photographer and said
- I told my mother that the top
Your photo has been
deleted but the top has been removed.
Can you remove this top?
Photographer Ne Kaha -
Yes, but do you
mean to say that your shahuhar sidhi mang nikalate hain yan ulati?
Aurat Boli - Jab aap topi utarenge tab khud
dekh lijiyega
Biwi (Ghusse Main):
Tumhare Dimagh Main To
Sirf Gobar Hi Bhara Hai .. !!
Husband (Pyar Se):
To Phr Itni Dyer Se Kha Q Rahi Ho…. ??
Pati: - Chlo Tum Se Shadi Karke Mujhe 1 Bhut Bda Fayda Hua H,
Patni Kon Sa Fayda… .. ??
Pati: Mujhe Mere Gunhon Ki Sja Jite Ji Hi Mil Gai …… ..
pati: Ghar ka saara keemti samaan kahin chhupa kar rakh do, padosi aa rahe hain.
patni: Kyonji! do you like friends
pati: are nahin, who apne saaman pehchan lenge.
Pati- maine aj ek sapna dekha?
patni-kya?
Pati-ki tm kise se pyar kr rahi ho.
patni-kya tmne use pehchana?
Pati-nhi pehchan paya, kyuki mai raat mai bina chasma k hi so gaya tha
Pati patni mandir main!
Pati-tumne kya manga?
Patni-ki aap aur main saat janam saath rahe.
Patni-aur aapne.
Pati-yeh mera saatwa janam ho I -------------------------------------------------- --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- .
Wife: - Whatever you say, you get rid of it from one ear to the other.
Husband: And if you say anything, you will get rid of it.
Husband to Wife: I got married to 20 women before marriage.
Wife: I knew that if I got a kundli, I would definitely get one !!!
Patni: -lo, I have been begging for help till today.
-------------------------------------------------- ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
?
Pati: Not at all, I just promised to share such grief.
-------------------------------------------------- -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
.
patni: Kyonji! do you like friends
pati: are nahin, who apne saaman pehchan lenge.
-------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------
Patni: You are too old.
Pati: Tum bhi to kitni moti ho gayi ho.
Patni: Main to maa banne wali hoon!
Pati: Main bhi to baap banne wala hoon
----------------------------------------- ---------------------------------------
Patni: "Aapne pichle saal ka 'salgireh pe, mujhe lohay What do you mean by that? ”
Pati: "I intend to cut current in this year."
-------------------------------------------------- -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
. meri samajhdari ya meri beauty.
Pati: I like the habit of making fun of you.
-------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------
Husband: - I can share anything with you.
Patni: -Let's start with bank account
-------------------------------------------------- -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
.
Patni: - Who told you that I want another person like you?
-------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------
Patni: - I will die without you.
Pati: -main bhi mar jaaunga. I can't stand this happiness.
-------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------
Husband wife ki leta godi me hua tha,
Wife - kesa lag raha ji that he?
Husband- jese visnu bhagwan shesnaag ki god me lete ho.
-------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------
kya thi ... larki
Shohar: Kal mere khuab main aai thi end of a fruitful larki,
Wah! kya larki thi.
Bibi: Akeli he aai hogi?
Shohar: Tumko kese pata:
Bibi: Uska husband mere khuab main
tha.
-------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------
Pyar b ajab shay he
Maa se payar hota hai Ebadat
Baap se payar hota hai to Muqadas
Bhai If you fall in love with Aqidat Didi, if you
fall in love with Farz
&
Wife, then everyone will
say that SALA is the GHULAM of BIWI.
-------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------
Santa: Kal Raat Nu Film Vich Ik Chudail Kade
Mere Agge Kade Mere Piche Ghummi Ja Rai Si,
Banta: Kehri Film Si…?
Santa: Mere Viah Di Movie.
-------------------------------------------------- ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I have lost your memory in 15 days. ho?
Husband: 15 more days ...
---------------------------------------- ----------------------------------------
Santa to Jeeto: Kaisi sabzi banai hai, bilkul It tastes like gobar.
Jeeto, maatha peet te hue: Hey bhagwan! Na jane inhone kya-kya kha ke dekha hua hai.
-------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------
Patni: 4 daku aye Aaj aur mera rape kar ke gaye lets go,
Pati: Tum ne unko roka kyon to nahi,
Patni: Main ne bohat raoka lakin to wo kehne lage,
Ab hamain jane do ham thak gaye hain
Patni sotay main zor se se boli,
Jaldi utho mera pati hai gaya aa,
Pati utha, window, that se chalang laga di,
Taang toot gayi,
phir khayal aya,
Ke Pati to main he hoon
end of a fruitful admi ki nye nye shadi hue, phir to determine proper dosage sham mai use ghr jane ki koi jaldi to nahi rehti, woh der Absent oneself office mai hi rehta tha
boss ne pucha kya baat hai
ushne ne bataya ki meri Bivi also has a job, and the one who goes home early also eats banana.
ek pati apni patni ko yeh keh kr chidata tha- 3 bacho ki amma
patni ko bahut gussa ata tha
ek din jaise hi pati ne bola 3 bacho ki amma
patni ne turant jabab diya bolo- 2 bacho k papa ..
techr ne chote bache se pucha "bhagwan kaha hai"?
ek bache ne bola mujhe pata hai ..
techr-batao
bacha-bathroom mai.
techr-ek pal k liye chup thi .... phir boli tmhe kaise pata?
Bacha-roj subah jab papa uthte hai. bathroom door knock krte hue kehte hai. "Hey Bhagwan!
Husband: I call the crematorium and call the mortuary. I don't want to waste money on taking you to the hospital.
-------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------
Husband: Darling! Is it true that you never forget a face you once saw?
Wife: Yes, but why?
Husband: In fact, the expensive mirror of your dressing table has just broken
and you will have to work with your memory till a new mirror is created. On this, the wife speaks in a hushed voice, just let her stay, it seems that she has no other work besides complimenting me?
-------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------
during the talks, said her husband, a scholar wrote that stupid man's wife is beautiful .
-------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------
Wife (angrily): I won't talk to you after today.
Husband: Are you going to be dumb?
Wife: No, I'm going to make you deaf.
-------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------
when miya-wife has fiercely that blood Bibi said kicking, I'm going to matter And I will go there and file for divorce, yes! A husband and wife were celebrating their fiftieth wedding anniversary when suddenly the husband started crying. Seeing her husband crying, the wife asked the reason. Looking into the wife's eyes. Husband said, "Dear, do you remember, fifty years ago today, your father met us in the back garden of your house, holding hands with Rango."
Mian - let's move! Now don't try to seduce by saying such false-sweet, sweet-sweet things.
-------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------
When the wife said yes, the husband asked if she remembered it. What did his father tell me at that time? I don't remember what he said.
The wife replied - he had said. That if I don't marry you, they will put me in jail for fifty years for what happened. So what happened Did she marry you? The wife said looking at her husband. That is what he was saying.
-------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------
Husband and wife were talking to each other. The number 11 portion was always auspicious for the husband. We got married at 11 a.m. on the 11th of the 11th month. Our house number is also 11. One day at 11 o'clock 11 minutes and 11 seconds someone said that a big race is going to take place today. I thought there must be a miracle hidden in number 11 for me. I went and put 11 thousand rupees on the 11th horse for the 11th race.
Wife: So did the horse win? Fucking came in at number 11!
-------------------------------------------------- --------------------------------
Santa's wife picked up the frying pan and hit
Santa's head.
Santa: Why kill? Santa: Yesterday I was in the race on the horse that was frozen. His name is. BV: Well done m sorry!
Wife: Write the name of a Basanti in your diary. Who is this Basanti?
The next day Santa's wife hit again - Santa:
Why did you hit now?
Wife: Your mare’s call has come ..... go and
pick it up !!!
Mail to Friend Tweet
---------------------------------------------- ----------------------------------
Two women met in heaven.
First - tell me sister, how did you die?
Second - due to feeling very cold. And yours?
First - Due to High Blood Pressure. The fact is that I was suspicious of my husband. One day I found out that he is in the house with another woman. I immediately reached home and saw that my husband was comfortably watching TV alone.
Second - what happened then?
First - the news was sure so I couldn't believe it. I searched for her in every corner of the house, in the basement, behind the curtains, in the garden and even in the cupboard and chest, but she was not found. I had so much tension that my blood pressure increased a lot and I died.
The second - I wish! You would have seen it by opening the freezer and we were both alive today
------------------------------------- -------------------------------------------
Babli (from husband Bunty) - Tonight I dreamed that you brought me a beautiful diamond necklace.
Bunty had breakfast and went to the office. In the evening an office went into his hands.
In the evening he had a packet in his hand. Babli thought that there would be a diamond necklace in it.
He quickly opened the packet. There was a book in the packet. The title was - What is the meaning of dreams.
-------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------
housewife bid -
Monday to shopping ....
Tuesday ..... Zoo
Mercury on Long drive ... to eat on
Thursday ... to watch a
movie on Friday and then a
picnic on Saturday .... well .... I
said - I will go to the temple on Sunday housewife
asked - why ????
Begging !!
-------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------
in the war of the husband and wife
are always there to be an agreement ...
accepts that the husband is
at fault She was and…
wife
agrees with him without any protest … !!!
-------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------
Mareez: Mujhe Ajib c Bimari Ho Gai He.
Jab Meri Biwi Bolti Hai To Mujhe Kuch Sunai Nahi Deta ..!
Hakim: Ye Bimari Nahi,
Tum Par Allah Ki REHMAT H ...
----------------------------------- ---------------------------------------------
Wife: I heard In heaven, men get nymphs .. what do women get?
Husband: Nothing; The one above only listens to the sad people ..!
-------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------
What is a wife?
The wife is like the offering of God, in
which no fault can be found even if one wants to;
Eat quietly with reverence and compulsion ...!
-------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------
Husband: (Drunk, from wife) - Who are you?
Wife: (angrily): Now you forgot your wife too?
Husband - intoxication forgets every gum ..! : D
------------------------------------------------ --------------------------------
is the woman behind the man who managed to work through it too tight that she upset Gets so busy that "Success itself kisses his steps!"
Mail to Friend Tweet
---------------------------------------------- ---------------------------------- I have been taking
'iron' from my wife for twenty years!
Doctor: Your body is deficient in iron ... Patient: I have been taking ‘iron’ from my wife continuously for twenty years and ... you say that iron deficiency ......
Mail to Friend Tweet
---------------------------------------------- ----------------------------------
Wife: Even if you search for Aladdin with a lamp, you will not find a wife like me again.
Husband: Do you think I will make the same mistake again after touching the lamp?
-------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------
Hi Guys do you know the difference between poet Surender Sharma and wife?
...
...
...
...
EK Chaar Lina Sunawe and
wife ...
Chaar Baata ...
------------------------ -------------------------------------------------- ------
Santa was killing his wife ..
Ek admi ne pucha kyu maar rahe ho ??
Santa: The doctor said,
Isko dawai koot ke deni
------------------------------------- -------------------------------------------
NATURAL DISASTERS JUST HAPPEN
Nobody teaches
Volcanoes to erupt,
Tsunamis to devastate,
Hurricanes to sway around
&
no one teaches
How to choose a Wife,
NATURAL DISASTERS JUST HAPPEN.
-------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Begum, I am coming from the office today. There was a donkey on the way! ”
In the meantime, his daughter said: - "Mummy, Shyam has broken my doll."
The husband started saying again "Yes Begum, I was saying a donkey on the way… ..!"
In the meantime, his son said: - "Mummy, Rita has broken my car."
The wife came in anger and said: - "For God's sake, all of you shut up, let me listen to the donkey first ...!"
-------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------
Husband and wife had a fight. The husband thought of committing suicide and brought poison from the market and ate it. He did not die, he became ill.
Wife (speaking angrily) - has said a hundred times that after seeing things, buy and the money is gone and the work for which it was brought did not happen.
-------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------- The
groom took his wife in his arms and said, 'From today you are my inspiration, my sadhana And I hope so. '
Hearing this, the bride was startled for a moment and then said, 'From today you are my Rahul, Rakesh and Aman.'
-------------------------------------------------- -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
.
Pati-Tumse kisne kha?
Patni-meri khubsurati dekh rotia bhi to jal jati hai .. !!
-------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------
Patni: Are you too old?
pati: tum bhikitni moti ho gyi ho?
Patni: me to maa banne wali hu
pati: mebhi to papa banne wala hu
---------------------------------- ----------------------------------------------
Banke - New Movie Have brought tickets. You get ready immediately.
Wife - but this is next week's ticket?
Banke - Well, no worries. It will also take time for you to get ready.
-------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------
Once Pappu came after hearing the discourse of the saint and as soon as he came he started lifting his wife with his hands.
Wife was surprised and asked- what's the matter, be in a good mood today.
Pappu- Today the saint said that he should bear his sorrows and troubles by laughing himself.
-------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------
PATNI - SAMNE SARABI DEKH RAHE HO
DAS SAAL PEHLE USNE MUJE SAADI
KARNE KE LIYE KAHA O MENE NA KAR DIYA
TO WO ABHI TAK PI RAHA HAI
PATI-BAAP RE ITNA LAMBA CELIBRATION
-------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------ The
husband told the wife that today I will be the chairman.
Showing wife Belan, you can't be my husband and become someone else's.
-------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------
AFTER RABRI'S FALL
A gentle woman, graceful and fair
Has had a fall from nowhere,
A housewife stark , unsuspecting, illiterate
Was ordered one day to run a state,
She ran as fast as a wall
And, naturally, shehad to fall.
Call the man of scam and crores
Who in the streets of Patna roars,
Why him alone? Call them all
The fat, the big, and the tall: With rite and ritual, holy unction
Formally declare this nation
To be their private fiefdom,
To be passed on to a wife or a son
So that in future there is no fall,
Of a gentle woman, after all.
-------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------
a second woman: when your divorce had happened when he was a child,
and now how 3 ?
Second quote: He would sometimes come to apologize ...
------------------------------------ --------------------------------------------
3 Possible Reasons When A Man Opens A Car Door For Wife
1) The Car Is New.
2) The Wife Is New
3) (Most Imp) She Is Not His Wife…
-------------------------------- ------------------------------------------------
Why Love Marriages AWhy Love Marriages Are Better Than Arranged Marriages?
Because Known DEVILS Are Better Than Unknown DEVILS… re Better
--------------------------------------- -----------------------------------------
Angry wife to her husband talk to slap
the man it is hardly that he loves
his wife to husband died two slap in the face, and asked
what you understand that I love you,
do not
----------------------- -------------------------------------------------- -------
Husband and wife were leaving.
A beggar: O beauty, give something to this blind man.
Husband said: Give me something, you are beautiful, he is really blind.
-------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------
wife: Why don't you put the logo on the bus?
husband: Are my photo taken in the bus and
I have to take a photo of all the above….
-------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------
Wife (from husband) - Hi! My deeds were shattered, which was tied to yours, otherwise I was getting more than one worthy groom.
Husband (sadly) - Yes, he really deserved, who escaped your trap.
-------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------
Husband (from wife) - Why don't we go out and drink today's tea.
Wife (from husband) - Why? Do you think that I am tired of making tea?
Husband: Oh no, in fact I am fed up with washing cup plates.
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Wife (angrily) - What have you done in your life so far?
Husband (proudly) - I made my own life.
Wife- Lo, and I am the one who was blaming God till now.
-------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------
Wife (from husband) - Hi! My deeds were shattered, which was tied to your palle, otherwise I was getting more than one worthy groom.
Husband (sadly) - Yes, he really deserved, who escaped your trap.
-------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------
Wife (from husband) - Listen sir, if your hair continues to fall out at this rate then one day I will divorce you. I don't like bald people at all.
Husband (shocked) - Hey! How stupid I am too, instead of asking for something good, I always kept asking God to keep my hair safe.
-------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------
Husband (from wife) - What is the meaning of hypnosis?
Wife (from husband) - Hypnosis is to subdue a man by his influence and get him to do whatever he wants.
Husband (laughs) - Oh no, they call it marriage
-------------------------------------- -------------------------------------------
Wife - You also remember something ? You know, today is our wedding anniversary.
Husband - Oh, I really forgot. Come on, let's hold a two minute silence ...
-------------------------------------- -------------------------------------------
A woman in great haste to the dentist Arrived at the clinic. Quote - "Doctor sir! I'm in a hurry. I have to go to an urgent meeting so don't apply anesthesia and get your teeth out quickly. "The
doctor said to himself -" She is an amazing brave woman ! " Yes, as you wish. Sit on this chair and tell me which tooth has pain. "The woman called to her
husband standing near the door -" Come on! Show your teeth to the doctor!
-------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------
A woman rushed to the dentist's clinic. Quote - "Doctor sir! I'm in a hurry. I have to go to an urgent meeting so don't apply anesthesia and get your teeth out quickly. "The
doctor said to himself -" She is an amazing brave woman ! " Yes, as you wish. Sit on this chair and tell me which tooth has a pain. "The woman called to her
husband standing near the door -" Come on! Show your teeth to the doctor!
-------------------------------
A couple was celebrating their fortieth wedding anniversary. Coincidentally, that day was also his wife's 60th birthday. That night an angel appeared in their house. He told them that they had been in love for so long that he was happy. The angel said they could ask him for a boon.
The wife, who loved her husband dearly, told the fairy that she wanted to travel all over the world with her husband, but she did not have that much money.
The angel swung his wand and the envelope full of plane tickets came into the wife's hand.
Now it was the husband's turn to ask. He thought for a minute and then said - "To be honest, I want a wife 30 years younger than me." The
angel swung his stick and .......... The husband immediately turned 90 years old.
-------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------
A newlywed was sleeping in the afternoon. When she woke up, she said to her husband, "You know what I just dreamed?"
Husband - "What?"
Wife - "I saw that you have brought me a new gold necklace! What is the meaning of this dream? ''
Husband - '' You will know this tonight. ''
When the husband returned home at night, he had a packet in his hand which he gave to his wife.
Happily, when he opened the packet, a book came out with the name - "The meaning of dreams".
-------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------
a couple of the 25th anniversary of their marriage, they take the reporter interviewed a local newspaper Reached his house. In fact, the couple had become famous throughout the town for their peaceful and happy married life. There was never any quarrel between them even in name only. The reporter was curious to know the secret of his happy life.
Husband told - Shortly after our marriage, we had gone to Shimla to celebrate our honeymoon. There we rode. My horse was fine, but the horse my wife was riding was a little rough. He ran and suddenly knocked my wife down.
The wife said rubbing her hands on the horse's back - this is the first time. And then rode the same horse. After walking a short distance, the horse dropped him again.
The wife said this time - this is the second time. And then rode the same horse.
The third time the horse knocked him down my wife said nothing to the horse, just pulled the pistol out of her purse and shot the horse.
I shouted at my wife - "What have you done! You killed a helpless animal ......! Are you crazy? "The
wife looked at me and said -" This is the first time! "
And just, since then our life has been going on happily and peacefully.
-------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------- Is
there a bigger problem?
Wife: You always keep my photo in your wallet, why?
Husband: Whenever there is a problem, no matter how big, I look at your photo and the problem goes away.
Wife (whispering): Look how miraculous I am to you.
Husband: Yes! I look at your photo and then ask myself if there is a bigger problem?
-------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------
Husband and wife were talking to each other.
Husband - "The number 11 has always been auspicious for me. We got married at 11 a.m. on the 11th of the 11th month. Our house number is also 11. One day at 11 o'clock 11 minutes and 11 seconds someone told me that there is going to be a big race today. I thought that there must be miracles hidden in the number 11 for me, I went and put 11 thousand rupees on the 11th horse for the race of number 11. "
Wife -" And the horse won? ""
Husband - " 'That's crying! Kambakht came 11th! '
-------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------
A woman informed her friend that she was going to get married for the fourth time.
"Congratulations!" Said the friend, expressing happiness and asked - "By the way, how did your first husband die?
"
'' Ram Ram Ram! Poor .....! '' Saheli
expressed regret and said '' And what about the other husband? '' '' By eating poisonous food '' ' ' 'Oh my
God! The other died the same way! The third one is also probably poisonous food ............! ''
'' No, no! The third died of a broken neck. ''
'' A broken neck? ''
'' 'Yes! He refused to eat poisonous food. ''
------------------------------------- -------------------------------------------
A woman arrived in the kitchen and saw That her husband was walking around with a forged hand.
"What are you doing?" - the wife asked him.
"I'm killing flies," replied the husband.
"Good! Can you kill one? '' - asked the wife.
'' Three! Two females and three males, ”said the husband.
Huy was surprised wife asked - 'How did they know?' '
' 'Was a bottle of wine and three' '- husband reply to two phone
--------------- -------------------------------------------------- ---------------
A man and his wife got into a quarrel and they stopped talking to each other. One day the man had to go somewhere by train at 5 in the morning. It was necessary to wake up at 4 o'clock but he also did not want to speak first. So he wrote a note on the paper - "Wake me up at 4 o'clock" and put it on his wife's head.
It was 9 o'clock in the morning when he woke up. His train was missed. He was about to shout angrily at his wife when his eye fell on a piece of paper placed on his head on which it was written - "It is 4 o'clock. Wake up
The recruitment process for a higher post in the Intelligence Bureau was underway. In the end, only three candidates were left, one of whom was to be selected. There were two men and one woman.
His loyalty to duty was to be examined as a final examination. Taking the first man into a room, the examiner said, "We want to make sure that you follow our instructions in all circumstances, no matter what the circumstances." Then he grabbed a gun in his hand and the other Pointing to the room, he said, "Your wife is sitting in that room. Go and shoot
her . '' '' I can't shoot my wife under any circumstances '' - the man said.
"Then you are of no use to us. You can go, ”said the examiner.
Now the other man was called. "We want to make sure you follow our instructions no matter what the circumstances," said the examiner, holding a gun in his hand and pointing to the other room. Your wife is sitting in the room. Go and shoot him. ”The man went into the room and returned five minutes later with tears in his eyes. "I could not shoot my beloved wife. Forgive me I am not qualified for this post. "
Now only the woman was left as the final candidate. He also grabbed a gun and pointed to the same room, saying, "We want to make sure you follow our instructions no matter what the circumstances." Your husband is sitting in that room. Go and shoot him. ”The woman took the gun and went inside the room. As soon as he entered the room, the sounds of firing started coming. After about 11 rounds of fire, screams and uproar started coming from the room. This sequence lasted for about fifteen minutes after which silence fell.
About five minutes later the door of the room opened and the woman came out wiping the sweat from her forehead. Bid - '' You guys didn't tell me that the cartridges in the gun are fake. I had to beat him.
-------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------
A husband and wife were celebrating their fiftieth wedding anniversary when suddenly the husband started crying. Seeing her husband crying, the wife asked the reason.
Talk about chilling husband watching his wife's eyes - '' Baby Do you remember today than fifty years ago, your father has us caught by red, while similar chupakara in the garden behind the house? ''
Said the wife of the '' yes '' But the husband asked if he remembered what his father had said to me at that time.
What did you say I don't remember - The wife replied.
He had said that if I did not marry you, they would put me in prison for fifty years.
So what happened You got married, didn't you? The wife said looking at her husband.
I am thinking that if I had not obeyed him, at least today I would have been free
-------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------
koi ghar ja raha tha ki apni biwi ka 'antim sanskar karke achanak bijli chamki, badal garje, jor se When it started raining, the sad man said: Lagta hai pahunch gai
---------------------------------------- -------------------------------------------
Husband- then the same tomato vegetable, Maybe you don't know that eating too many tomatoes makes a man an ass in the next life.
That was the last-born wife, you may need to think
-------------------------------------- -------------------------------------------
Wife: I have seen in a dream today That you have brought me a diamond necklace, what does this dream mean?
Husband: I will tell you this evening. In the evening the husband brought a packet to the wife. When the wife happily opened the packet, a book came out of it. The name of the book was, 'Meaning of Dreams'.
-------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------
Wife (angrily) From Husband: People tell the truth that Befkufo's mouth should not be touched.
Husband: Then I don't like your mouth.
-------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------
Husband to Wife in fighting: To sali kutiya
Wife to husband: To sala kutta
His child: Hee Hee, Mai sala Kukariya
--------------------------------------------- -----------------------------------
At the railway station, the wife said to her husband- Look ... other people are meeting their wives with love and you are the one who is standing with your mouth hanging open.
Husband- Goddess, you don't understand ... These people have come to the station to bid farewell to their wives and I will pick them up.
-------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------
One day when the husband and wife left the temple, a fakir said, 'Give the princess five rupees I am blind.
Husband: Give it, the princess is calling you, then you must be blind.
-------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------- After
returning from the office, the husband told his wife that he has got his insurance.
Wife happy: Well done. The tension of the day came. Whenever you got sick, you had to call a doctor immediately.
-------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------
Wife: I dreamed today that you brought me a diamond necklace, what about this dream Mean?
Husband: I will tell you this evening. In the evening the husband brought a packet to the wife. The wife happily opened the packet, then a book came out of it, which was called, "Meaning of Dreams"
--------------------------- -------------------------------------------------- ---
Wife: The conductor insulted me in the bus today.
Husband: Why? What happened
Wife: As soon as I got off the bus, he said: Now let three passengers come to this seat.
-------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------
How does the wife change after marriage, just consider ...
First year: I said eat, you haven't eaten for a long time
Second year: Food is ready, let me put it ------------------------ -------------------------------------------------- ------- Mr. Santa Sinha said: I also want the same but I don't know why seeing you, I am thinking of my infamous wife. -------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------- Mr. Santa and Mrs. Banta were arguing.
Third year: The
. I am going to the market, take it out and eat by myself
Fifth year: I say I will not make food today, bring it from the hotel Sixth year: When you look at food, food and food, just ate in the morning
...
--- -------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Where were you?
Husband said- sensible women do not ask such questions.
The wife said- A good sensible husband can ask his wife such questions?
Leave it alone, the husband said, a sensible man also has a wife.
everything on money, car and a girlfriend Alas one day all this will get out of my hands.
But how? The friend asked in astonishment.
My wife will find all these things.
-------------------------------------------------- ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
a woman painted a beautiful pontoon in which she was laden with a lot of precious jewels Was shown. A friend of hers asked, you never wear so many jewels then why so many jewels on this picture of yours?
Because if I die and my husband remarries, then seeing this picture of me, my husband's second wife will go crazy and make my husband's life haraam. The woman replied with a smile.
-------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------- The
doctor said to William, you have constipation. You should get up every morning and drink a cup of lukewarm water.
Doctor, I have been doing this for months, the only difference is that my wife calls it tea.
-------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------
Mrs. Santa Sinha never went to a beauty parlor. One day she went to a beauty parlor and got her makeover done. Her hairstyle changed, she got heavy make-up on her face, the style of her clothes changed. Now she thought that her husband should be shocked. Mrs. Sinha reached her husband's office and said to him: Hello handsome, I want to love you.
Mr. Santa, have you considered me a dog?
Mrs. Banta: Absolutely not, but stop craving for God.
-------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------
Santa Sedhi's wife was very jealous and suspicious. One day she started looking for long hair on her husband's coat. When he didn't get hair, he started saying - well, nowadays you are falling in love with a bald woman. The next day she started smelling the perfume of women in her husband's clothes, but she did not find any such fragrance. He shook hands and said- well, then that bald woman is so stingy that she can't even buy a perfume.
-------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------
I know, I spent sixteen days eating only basil leaves And fasted every Friday for two years. Then I went somewhere and found you as my husband.
What if it didn't do everything? The husband asked with a laugh.
So someone would have passed by you. The wife was naive.
-------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------
A woman said to her husband, 'You have come home late at night.'
The husband also accused his wife and said, "And you have been awake till nightfall."
I have been waiting for you for 5 hours.
And I also stood outside for 5 hours waiting for you to fall asleep so I can come inside
------------------------------- --------------------------------------------------
The wife said to the husband, 'You have come home late at night. Husband also accused and said, 'And you too have been awake late at night.
The wife said, 'I have been waiting for you for five hours. The husband said, 'And, I stood outside for five hours waiting for you to fall asleep so I can come in
------------------------------- --------------------------------------------------
Wife- Aji, is it true that money speaks?
Husband: Yes, they are like that.
On this the wife said- then you give me some money, I am bored sitting alone in the house.
Patni (Pati Se) -
Do you have any experience about Collage ?
Pati (Patani Se) - Han, Tumhari and
my first meeting was in college
.
************ ********* ********* ** When
Pati reached home, Patani told her
- I have removed Naukarani today.
Pati udas hokar - Are, use ek mauka to
diya hota.
Patni (Pati Se) - Per mai aapko koi mauka
nahi dena chahati.
************ ********* ********* ** A
jagadalu patani pati par baras rahi thi
aur wah bichara deen sakal banaye hue
baitha tha. Patni bol rahi thi kayar kahin
ke, tum aadami ho ki chuhe?
Pati Gidgidaya - Shreemati Ji, Mai aapka
pati he hun agar chuha hota to tum thar-thar
kamp rahi hoti.
************ ********* ********* ** A
woman passed by a photographer and said
- I told my mother that the top
Your photo has been
deleted but the top has been removed.
Can you remove this top?
Photographer Ne Kaha -
Yes, but do you
mean to say that your shahuhar sidhi mang nikalate hain yan ulati?
Aurat Boli - Jab aap topi utarenge tab khud
dekh lijiyega
Biwi (Ghusse Main):
Tumhare Dimagh Main To
Sirf Gobar Hi Bhara Hai .. !!
Husband (Pyar Se):
To Phr Itni Dyer Se Kha Q Rahi Ho…. ??
Pati: - Chlo Tum Se Shadi Karke Mujhe 1 Bhut Bda Fayda Hua H,
Patni Kon Sa Fayda… .. ??
Pati: Mujhe Mere Gunhon Ki Sja Jite Ji Hi Mil Gai …… ..
pati: Ghar ka saara keemti samaan kahin chhupa kar rakh do, padosi aa rahe hain.
patni: Kyonji! do you like friends
pati: are nahin, who apne saaman pehchan lenge.
Pati- maine aj ek sapna dekha?
patni-kya?
Pati-ki tm kise se pyar kr rahi ho.
patni-kya tmne use pehchana?
Pati-nhi pehchan paya, kyuki mai raat mai bina chasma k hi so gaya tha
Pati patni mandir main!
Pati-tumne kya manga?
Patni-ki aap aur main saat janam saath rahe.
Patni-aur aapne.
Pati-yeh mera saatwa janam ho I -------------------------------------------------- --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- .
Wife: - Whatever you say, you get rid of it from one ear to the other.
Husband: And if you say anything, you will get rid of it.
Husband to Wife: I got married to 20 women before marriage.
Wife: I knew that if I got a kundli, I would definitely get one !!!
Patni: -lo, I have been begging for help till today.
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?
Pati: Not at all, I just promised to share such grief.
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.
patni: Kyonji! do you like friends
pati: are nahin, who apne saaman pehchan lenge.
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Patni: You are too old.
Pati: Tum bhi to kitni moti ho gayi ho.
Patni: Main to maa banne wali hoon!
Pati: Main bhi to baap banne wala hoon
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Patni: "Aapne pichle saal ka 'salgireh pe, mujhe lohay What do you mean by that? ”
Pati: "I intend to cut current in this year."
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. meri samajhdari ya meri beauty.
Pati: I like the habit of making fun of you.
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Husband: - I can share anything with you.
Patni: -Let's start with bank account
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.
Patni: - Who told you that I want another person like you?
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Patni: - I will die without you.
Pati: -main bhi mar jaaunga. I can't stand this happiness.
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Husband wife ki leta godi me hua tha,
Wife - kesa lag raha ji that he?
Husband- jese visnu bhagwan shesnaag ki god me lete ho.
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kya thi ... larki
Shohar: Kal mere khuab main aai thi end of a fruitful larki,
Wah! kya larki thi.
Bibi: Akeli he aai hogi?
Shohar: Tumko kese pata:
Bibi: Uska husband mere khuab main
tha.
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Pyar b ajab shay he
Maa se payar hota hai Ebadat
Baap se payar hota hai to Muqadas
Bhai If you fall in love with Aqidat Didi, if you
fall in love with Farz
&
Wife, then everyone will
say that SALA is the GHULAM of BIWI.
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Santa: Kal Raat Nu Film Vich Ik Chudail Kade
Mere Agge Kade Mere Piche Ghummi Ja Rai Si,
Banta: Kehri Film Si…?
Santa: Mere Viah Di Movie.
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I have lost your memory in 15 days. ho?
Husband: 15 more days ...
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Santa to Jeeto: Kaisi sabzi banai hai, bilkul It tastes like gobar.
Jeeto, maatha peet te hue: Hey bhagwan! Na jane inhone kya-kya kha ke dekha hua hai.
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Patni: 4 daku aye Aaj aur mera rape kar ke gaye lets go,
Pati: Tum ne unko roka kyon to nahi,
Patni: Main ne bohat raoka lakin to wo kehne lage,
Ab hamain jane do ham thak gaye hain
Patni sotay main zor se se boli,
Jaldi utho mera pati hai gaya aa,
Pati utha, window, that se chalang laga di,
Taang toot gayi,
phir khayal aya,
Ke Pati to main he hoon
end of a fruitful admi ki nye nye shadi hue, phir to determine proper dosage sham mai use ghr jane ki koi jaldi to nahi rehti, woh der Absent oneself office mai hi rehta tha
boss ne pucha kya baat hai
ushne ne bataya ki meri Bivi also has a job, and the one who goes home early also eats banana.
ek pati apni patni ko yeh keh kr chidata tha- 3 bacho ki amma
patni ko bahut gussa ata tha
ek din jaise hi pati ne bola 3 bacho ki amma
patni ne turant jabab diya bolo- 2 bacho k papa ..
techr ne chote bache se pucha "bhagwan kaha hai"?
ek bache ne bola mujhe pata hai ..
techr-batao
bacha-bathroom mai.
techr-ek pal k liye chup thi .... phir boli tmhe kaise pata?
Bacha-roj subah jab papa uthte hai. bathroom door knock krte hue kehte hai. "Hey Bhagwan!
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